BBC Mayhem: How the squad system and some immature 12 year old caused the downfall of the Americans

Edit: Sorry about the weird paragraphs and punctuation. NG compressed the post into a wall of text, and I only bothered breaking it up into separate paragraphs.

Before I start, I will say that this story is absolutely true, and that there is also probably a moral in it somewhere.So, I was playing the BBC demo. I started out a game on the American side, and decided to try the artillery gun for the first time. I hopped in the gun, and had fired but one salvo when I saw I was taking damage. Alarmed, I hopped out of the gun, only to see that a teammate had shot me. I stared at him for a few seconds, then hopped back in to blow something else up. Once again, I am shot at. I hop out again and yell "What the fuck are you doing?!" It is then that I realize that this guy isn't in my squad, and, consequently, I am unable to communicate with him, so I just shoot him once to get my point across.

We stare at each other for a while. Only a few moments have passed when a third person takes the artillery for his own. My adversary, clearly frustrated as he is evidently good with nothing but the artillery, shoots dead the unlucky guy. I retaliate at the loss of an innocent with my own hail of bullets, killing the envious artillery-grabber. Instead of taking the turret, I hide, unseen, in a corner. I heal myself and wait for my new nemesis to spawn and emerge from the depths of limbo once more. He does so, and we stare at each other again. He shoots and kills me. I spawn once more, and I see him in combat with the other man he killed. I shoot him, laying down the killing blow. The other guy hops in the artillery turret, and I decide not to kill him because he had no idea what was going on (also because I couldn't tell him that I was there first because he wasn't in my squad...).

I stare at the turret longingly, but decide I should get over it and move on to a new method of attack. I pondered how I would go about this when an explosion rocked the artillery turret. I turn to the source of the projectile to see the evildoer in one of our tanks. He makes a beeline to the turret to finish it off. I exploit his preoccupied state and take a tank of my own.This being my first time driving a tank, I was rather unfamiliar with the controls. I managed to shoot and miss, instead hitting a jeep occupied by no less than three allied soldiers. The villain notices, and retaliates with his own poorly-aimed shot, which I expertly maneuver away from by accidentally hitting the accelerate button. By now, my turret is reloaded, and I fire upon my nemesis, engaging him in the battle to end all. After a brief exchange of blows, I managed to defeat him with minor damage.

I maneuvered to the southern exit to the base, where I decided to lay in wait for the inevitable counterattack. He, in turn, drove to the north exit in a third tank, and we fired upon each other once more. Unfortunately, I was killed, and had to respawn. By now, everyone has noticed the carnage and are fully committed to destroying the evildoer and myself, the usurpers of an idyllic match. My foe crushes a few beneath his tank and fires at a few more. While he was preoccupied, I was taking cover in the northwestern sector of the base in a building, awaiting the spawning of a new tank. After half a minute, it came, and I destroyed my foe once again.

Soon after, however, he reemerged with a new tank of his own. Once again, we fired upon each other, he at the north and I at the south. I nearly had him when I noticed something behind him. It is a terrorist heavy tank, and it was more than likely not going for a Sunday drive. I fired upon it, though my foe did not seem to notice, and he continued to attempt to destroy me. Sufficiently weakened, I decided to once again divert fire to the artillery-fiend. I might have been successful in destroying him, had a rocket blast from a random ex-ally and a shot or two from a terrorist light tank that had pulled up behind me without my noticing not destroyed me.

Let's take a moment and examine the situation. I'm fighting the evil one and my ex-allies, while he does the same with me. The terrorists have invaded the base, so we are fighting them too now. That means the ex-allies are also fighting terrorists, as are my nemesis and I. If you need a word for it, try pandemonium.

I spawn once more. By some miracle, my foe has jumped out of his old tank, acquired a new one, and is driving out of the base. I'm just not going to take that. I jump into the helicopter, as does another random ex-ally united with me in a desire to leave the base. Instead of taking him to engage the invading terrorists, however, I start flying east to the road. There, I see my nemesis speeding towards the enemy base for God-knows-what reason. I start moving in, or trying anyway.

I'd encountered the helicopter controls once or twice before, but there was no denying that I hadn't mastered them. I was drifting down, and it seemed that an air vs. land battle was out of the question. In fact, any battle at all was out of the question if I didn't save myself from the imminent crash. Thinking quickly and desperately, I jumped from the helicopter. Remarkably, in a 1/1000 chance, I landed directly upon my nemesis' tank. My helicopter, with the ex-ally, crashes to a forest in the south, knocking out more than a few trees and exploding.

Ignoring this spectacle, I beging to desperately shoot into the tank of my foe. Now I know this to be a useless gesture, but he must have been as much of a noob as I was, because he was scared enough to jump out of his tank and run west back to the base. I take out my trusty (where trusty = garbage) XM8 and prepare to obliterate my foe. Thanks to my poor aim and bad gun, I missed him most of the time, and he made it back to base.

Pissed, I stood atop a hill east of the base and call down a mortar strike directly onto it. The tanks, the allies, whatever. I didn't care anymore.The mortar strike did indeed come down, destroying the weakened terrorist tanks and killing pretty much everybody in the center of the base.I ran to the center to survey the damage.One building was all but completely destroyed, and few escaped without damage. It's remarkably quiet, and it has become a ghost town. A few Americans are spawning and waiting for the vehicles to come back. Finally, the lord of chaos himself spawns near the humvee facility, and proceeds to walk over to me.

We stare at each other for what seems like at least a minute, but must have been in reality much shorter.

Silence. Absolute dead cliche silence. No movement. no nothing. I have the L trigger held down, my reticule directly on the bastard's face.

We continue to stare.

He drops a health pack at my feet and runs back to get a humvee.

Fin.

I know it's futile and arrogant to say that this will end the ongoing religious debate, but this is my final stand against militant atheists (MAs). I will link this everywhere a militant atheist lurks, and everywhere his ignorant slander is posted. I am going to write an argument as extensive and complete as humanly possible on this page, and hopefully turn more than a few MAs into respectful, respectable human beings.

The inspiration? A video on a certain obnoxious asshole's userpage advocating ignorance - in a nutshell, it questioned the necessity for religious toleration (in a not-so-elegant manner, I might add). Of course, the Youtube vid page played host to a war of words between MAs and the religious, and it truly pains me to see such unnecessary, narrow-minded argumentation. Perhaps I'm not the most qualified person to write on this, but I'll be damned before I sit back and let ignorance become a virtue.

I don't know how long it's going to take to write this, and chances are you don't even care, but I'm going to write it anyway. It will most likely take weeks, seeing as I am very busy this time of year, but I'm going to write it. Stay tuned.

SHAMELESS MINICITY ADVERT!!! CLICK OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(please)
E.Wookietown
It's in New Zealand. No one knows why.

Disclaimer: Bear with me, I know that no one is constantly buzzing my userpage from updates from their overlord Extremewookie. I just thought I could make it a bit more entertaining for NG users who happen to view it.

Okay. Got a sig and a user header, I'll quit bitching about them now. I was thinking that because I read so much that I could write a few reviews for some bestsellers out there - you know, to appeal to the five users out there who read.

In addition, I'm not going to give up on the debate club idea. Please support and shove your opinion up everyone's ass: Gay Marriage Debate: Read the rules and drop a PRO or a CON

Back to that review idea. I don't have much of an inclination to write a review right now, but fortunately I have one I wrote for an English assignment here for you. I was limited to two hundred words (I happened to hit two hundred right on the dime), so I didn't have much room to express my true feelings, and you'll probably pick up on this in the reading. What I'm essentially trying to say is that I don't normally write this poorly. Nonetheless, please enjoy this review of

The Atlantis Prophecy
by Thomas Greanias

The Atlantis Prophecy by Thomas Greanias is a fictitious novel that takes place in the modern United States. The story focuses on Conrad Yeats, who must uncover the mystery behind the strange markings on his father's tombstone. These markings take him on a race against time, a mysterious cult called "The Alignment," and an evil billionaire named Max Seavers.
Greanias boasts an intelligent and exciting writing style that makes this book a real page turner, though you can easily tell there's absolutely no substance in the plot. Though the book is exciting and would certainly appeal to any adolescent in want of a quick thrill, anyone who does read it will find themselves marveling at the numerous flaws in the plot.
Another interesting facet of the book is that it is a three hundred sixty seven page advertisement. Though Greanias was attempting to make the book feel more plausible by mentioning various commonly known products, his references only serve to irritate: "Conrad listened to the soft strains of Mozart on his iPhone's earbuds."
In closing, this won't be remembered as a classic work of literature. Thomas Greanias' best seller is a good quick thrill, but has no substance to it.

And it doesn't suck for once.

EDIT: Neat, banner's working. It may not looks like much, but that guy on the right submitted me to some of the most MS Painting I've ever done, because of separate background colors. I don't think it came out that bad at all, and I'm going to work on a new profile pic so I don't have to use that old google images one.

Thanks for viewing the page, please give me feedback on my new efforts to improve it. They may not looks like much, but I really did put a lot of time into them, so it would be great to hear from you. Unless you're a complete dick, in which case just go away.

What are you going to get me?!

:3

Oh, and I finally got an iPod, to whom it may concern. It's a black 80 gig classic, and I've never had such an adorable little gadget in my entire life.

Another happy fun birthday surprise, the people at the Transformers message board want to wish me a happy birthday. I don't actually remember signing up for said message board, though. Here's a pic, not that any of you care.

HUR HUR HUR

Just as an experiment, I'm going to try and kick off a Newgrounds debate. Hopefully, I can get some decent responses and this will emerge as an epic war of words.

Here's how it goes. I'll make a topic (America needs to abolish the penny) and you present various pros and cons on the issue, depending on your stance. A pro or con will earn your team a point, and the team with the most points will take the lead. Points can, however, be nullified by showing sufficient logic to disprove a claim. I'll be the judge of if the attempt to disprove a point is valid, and while I think the process of logic will be fairly similar and straightforward with most people, feel free to challenge my judgment call.

Oh, btw, please designate your statement either as a "Point" or "Nullification," and if you are nullifying something, please give the username whose point you are arguing against.

If you're not going to post something helpful, don't even bother, because I'm just going to delete it. Thanks for reading this and [hopefully] taking part.

Current topic: Gay marriage

Pros:

Cons:

-"Don't allow it. It would be awkward to see gay couples in public. Who would go to those weddings anyway?" -ngfan14

-"there shouldnt be gay marriage theres just some thing weird in that thing" -Jonathan555

Current leader: Cons

YAY!

SUP

That's right. I want you all to add me to your buddy list, and IM me if I am online. I've been receiving every sort of IM over the past couple of days (or week, w/e) that I've publicly displayed my AIM in my signature and profile, and I must say you Newgrounders have piqued my interest.

I'll probably post the most interesting of your IMs from now on, and I'll probably start storing chat logs. I've had a couple of interesting conversations over the past week - everything from boy trouble (hopefully from a girl?) to random gibberish - and now I'm yearning to see more. IM me now, and if it's interesting enough I might post it, making you an instant celebrity (in the sense that maybe 30 people will see your screen name)!

Go crazy.